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Monday, September 29, 2008

I Take FULL Responsibility for the Financial Crisis

With grief and shame, it is time for me to come out and confess a terrible dark secret you might not have guessed: I'm the one responsible for the current financial crisis. Yes, it's entirely my fault. It's time for me to stand and openly take full responsibility for this mess, and to take the full consequences that must be dished out as a result.

Lehman Brothers Chief Executive Richard Fuld, recently "took the blame for the company's staggering second-quarter loss . . . This is my responsibility" he stated back in June. Now, with the complete failure of Lehmann Brothers, he had to accept the consequences for his guilt -- in the form of a $22 million award. And that was just for being partially responsible for the crisis. I'm fully responsible and am prepared to accept the total burden that is my due.

It's called Wall Street justice, and it's time it's dished out my way. Just hope this bailout package gets passed quickly so I can get my piece of the consequences pie. A big piece, after all, since I'm taking the full blame for this fiasco.

9 comments:

Walter said...

Thanks. I needed the laugh! :-)

Tim Malone said...

Jeff, If I didn't know better from years of subtle observations of that cracked planet humor, I would say that I detect a hint of sarcasm here. Tell us that you negotiated a similar golden parachute in your employment contract. What? You didn't? Ah, then you are just like 99.9% of the rest of America - you get paid based on what you produce today, and not retroactively on promises of performance tomorrow that never came to pass. Such a deal!

Mose said...

Maybe you can take responsibility for the failed bailout in the House too.

But thanks for the humor :)

Irkled said...

Here's how Utah Congressmen voted:

Democrats — Matheson, NO.

Republicans — Bishop, NO; Cannon, YES.

Can we tolerate Cannon or anyone else who would turn over that much of our future to the Wall Street gang to do anything they want??

Hans said...

Jeff, all of us who are guilty must admit it. Part of the repetance process is to admit the mistake so I admit that I am also at fault. As a consquence of my action, I would be happy with the Powerball reward (I'll even it split it with you) for $200 million or whatever it is now.

Anonymous said...

Jeff, Someone would be the Joseph (the one sold into Egypt) of our day if he thought this through and came up with an answer. What happens if we don't rescue the mortgage industry? Are there so many mortgage-backed stocks that the stock market is also imperiled? Can we isolate the loss just to the affected industries? Can we keep consumer confidence in place so all the other unattached industries don't go down? Are we saying, "The man has brought upon himself his misery; therefore, I will stay my hand and not give unto him"? Rather than giving the mortgage industry what it deserves, let's give it what it needs if it is going to drag us down with it, but if we think we can survive if it fails, then (perhaps) let it go. What really will happen if we approve the bailout? Is that something we can tell just by thinking? Hope so. Today, the House members were fearful of being tossed out of their seats if they voted for the bailout. Ironically, if nothing is done, they well may be booted out for sitting on their hands and doing nothing.

John Jackson said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Revolter said...

Anon - You mean someone would be the Ron Paul of our day if he came up with the answer: let crooks and failed companies eat the fruits of their failure and not expect the rest of us to bail them out. Also get rid of the failed and unconstitutional Federal Reserve Bank which created the bubble that is being popped and continues to make it worse. Get rid of these secretive crooks. Get rid of unlimited fiat money and allow people who wish to use gold and silver as currency to do so, rather than treating them like criminals.

Ian said...

Can I get an Amen revolter?

I for one say, let the economy tank. Let our current out of control economy fall. Maybe a phoenix will come forth from the ashes, or perhaps it will be a turkey. Either way, it may very well be better.

Consequently, has anyone seen this video. It claims to talk about the economy, and how money works. Anyone think it's inaccurate?

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-9050474362583451279