Discussions of Mormons and Mormon life, Book of Mormon issues and evidences, and other Latter-day Saint (LDS) topics.

Monday, February 17, 2014

Why Wait for the Fruit of the Tree of Life When You Can Eat the Biscuit of Omnipotence Now?

Adam and Eve had their temptation in the form of the fruit of knowledge. Mine came in the form of the Biscuit of Omnipotence. And it tastes even better than it looks!




Adam and Eve were just after a little knowledge, not even the full omniscience deal. My temptation is much better. Omnipotence is cool because it includes omniscience--or does it? I forget. But I think this awesome Chinese product, purchased in the Emart store next to our apartment, is working already. I'm definitely feeling more powerful now. Not sure how many more I'll need to eat to get the full effect, but it's great knowing there's such a handy shortcut.

Some Christians spend their lives in a quest for the divine fruit from the tree of life to be given to them after this life is over. Why wait for that when you can eat the Compressed Biscuit of Omnipotence now? It has to be compressed, of course, because all that infinite power has to be packed into a finite volume.

I'll let you know how things turn out after a few more servings.

The product, by the way, tastes like a dense, compressed mix of saltine crackers and graham crackers. Crumbly, but not bad. Not exactly how I expected omnipotence to taste--just another of the many surprises that China offers.

1 comment:

Bookslinger said...

Maybe you could start a section on your personal website of such things, along the lines of www.Engrish.com