tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7139169.post108704671183355438..comments2023-11-02T07:25:45.884-05:00Comments on Mormanity - a blog for those interested in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints: Real Prophets, Real Men: Opposing PornographyJeff Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08776493593387402607noreply@blogger.comBlogger102125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7139169.post-52503041459117951352012-12-02T08:49:05.021-06:002012-12-02T08:49:05.021-06:00If it is not good for the child, then it is not go...If it is not good for the child, then it is not good for adults.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09159760039163117895noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7139169.post-14452688723216566522012-05-16T11:09:14.299-05:002012-05-16T11:09:14.299-05:00oh so good .... I like your blogger post because y...oh so good .... I like your blogger post because you talking about <a href="http://www.std-symptoms.us/" rel="nofollow"> STD Symptoms</a> and i like any thing or any post talking about it as STD symptoms in men ,STD symptoms in women ,STD symptoms chart ,Crabs STD symptoms ,STD symptoms pictures ,List of STD symptoms ,STD symptoms checker ,STD Treatment ,STD diseases list <a href="http://www.std-symptoms.us/2012/03/chlamydia-trachomatis-infection.html" rel="nofollow"> Chlamydia Trachomatis Infection </a> so i will be happy if your visit my site <a href="http://www.std-symptoms.us/" rel="nofollow"> STD Symptoms.Us </a>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7139169.post-62670388679248929462010-11-25T00:55:00.236-06:002010-11-25T00:55:00.236-06:00To those who feel pornography is natural because w...To those who feel pornography is natural because we were made to want to reproduce: as a biology student I have a difficult time imagining people trying to reproduce with porn. And in nature it is always the partner that entices the other partner to have sex, not some outside source. So call it natural all you want but I don't buy it.<br /><br />To those who blame the wives for not fulfilling the husbands sexual needs, I don't buy that either. From my experience and from the posts I read it seems most people start viewing it when they are teenagers...I'm assuming they weren't married at that point.<br /><br />Also porn does cause problems whether you are religious or not. You may have not experience any because they don't always arise the first year or in a lot of cases many years. Again, most porn addictions start in the teen years and then when not fixed tear the family apart 16 years or more later, so just wait the problems will come.<br /><br />P.S. I appreciate non-mormon christians and any other religion for that matter posting their ideas, we are all moral beings no matter what are backgrounds are and any input others can give is really helpfulBeccahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11197621336416959753noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7139169.post-72274664187171263832010-04-01T14:48:06.290-05:002010-04-01T14:48:06.290-05:00To Jacquie:
sorry but it doesn't work that way...To Jacquie:<br />sorry but it doesn't work that way. It doesn't matter whether you dabble in a little bit of bad or a lot of bad, it is still bad, and it will always lead to more bad, more rationalization, more of a tendency to view women as mere objects and seek something from them that a guy clearly doesn't feel his wife can provide(shallow, isn't it?), or else why even look at a little?<br /><br />You say that he treats you with respect. I don't doubt that he treats you as such, but can you honestly say that you know what is going through his mind? I don't think so. Psychological and mental health studies, as well as the thousands of failed marriages as a result, plus plain reason, flies in the face of your argument.<br /><br />You can keep believing what you say, but I'm just glad I won't be having people like you parenting and teaching my children.Tonyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03960519151863517265noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7139169.post-45994712633594469532010-04-01T14:40:22.174-05:002010-04-01T14:40:22.174-05:00Idahoan, you are so full of crap.
Whether you are...Idahoan, you are so full of crap.<br /><br />Whether you are "open" about your addiction or not, it will ALWAYS lead men to look at women as nothing more than objects, though I suppose that for a moral relativist like you, that doesn't matter.<br /><br />So I guess it's ok for people to look at child porn now too? After all, they are just "appreciating" the child's form, right? <br /><br />You make me sick. How about you be honest with yourself (though I suppose you are too far gone) and experience a reality check, pal.Tonyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03960519151863517265noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7139169.post-7153008934256568182010-02-09T15:37:55.117-06:002010-02-09T15:37:55.117-06:00Very interesting. Where would one find the Ronald ...Very interesting. Where would one find the Ronald Regan report you mention?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7139169.post-80991630594610337122009-07-10T07:37:52.434-05:002009-07-10T07:37:52.434-05:00Very interesting recent comments....
Anon & w...Very interesting recent comments....<br /><br />Anon & wife Jacquie :<br />Without wanting to judge your personal lives or activities (what you do and how you relate your actions to the God that created you is your own marital concerns), but as you posted so much material, please indulge me the opportunity to share my observations.<br />What you are doing is clearly inviting the Sodom and Gomorrah culture into your marital home. It may not be on a permanent basis, but at the times at which you view the porn either together or singularly, your mind and heart is completely devoid of love and replaced by lust of the flesh. You are generating a selfish arousal for yourself or for your partner by being stimulated by visions of others in intimate states of sexual gratification (without really knowing how far your preferences go in these matters).<br /><br />Lot's wife was guilty of not being prepared to leave her connection to a sinful lustful city behind her, by physically moving on and her consequence was to be turned into a pillar of salt. She removed her body, but her heart was still there. <br /><br />If mainstream hollywood blockbusters are anything to measure porn movies by, from the sex scenes that they sometimes include, I would like to point out how often one can see true love in the two character's eyes for each other as they act out the scene? This is what makes intimacy on screen so artificial. However good the acting in view of recording cameras, it can NEVER replicate the true love between a totally in-tune husband and wife.<br /><br />This is when the Bible unifies them 'as one' as institutionalised by God. Why do you think the devil wants to break marriages and rip the family unit apart in the name of 'sexual preferences' and by getting society to label God-fearing Christians as homophobics? <br /><br />If you can claim to have this marital and God-blessed unity, then porn will only damage what you have together. It will NEVER enhance it or bing you closer to God because it is fake.Back to Basicsnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7139169.post-42048412421828143282009-06-29T18:13:05.253-05:002009-06-29T18:13:05.253-05:00I read earlier in this thread a commentor suggest ...I read earlier in this thread a commentor suggest that women using sex toys (vibrators etc..) is perhaps an acceptable practice for worthy Latter day Saints. I have read a popular LDS author/relationship therepist suggest the same thing. I will pose this question to all active LDS readers out there but particularly women. Do you think this is acceptable and if so do your view include married men relating sexually to mechanical and fabricated objects as well provided this is done together with a spouse in the bedroom? My Gut tells me there is something wrong with this equation. I suspect that the relationship God intended for us to have and develop is only between the man and woman in the marriage and not with devices. I dont think we should be penetrating or being penetrated by mechanical objects. I think using what God has given us on our bodies to enhance a sexual relationship is possibly the extent of what is okay, but inviting blow up dolls, vibrators, fake vaginas and other things to engage with is probably a violation. I think there exists in these things a great risk of addiction to the devices for both men and women which your body may not be capable of duplicating. Once you become sensitized to such things, it may disable your ability to ever sexually relate to your spouses body the same. I get there will be some who will argue that some people may never be able to be sexually fulfilled without these things and may need therepy with limited use of something like this to overcome a response or mental conditioning issue. But I have even heard an LDS author therepist suggest these "toys" for fun and variety. I think this is going to cause problems for relationships when people who use them realize they are habituated to these tools. I have read online many instances already of women claiming they feel they have a problem going back to what were regularly aknowledges as already fulfilling experiences with just thier partners body involved. They had become habituated to the device. I suspect men have the same issue using devices that are bring sexual pleasure in a much more intense way than thier wifes anatomy could. I think many of the questions the Bretheren once faced about dos and donts of the bedroom were very focused around things like oral sex and manual stimulation using hands etc... but I think this growing question is a bit different in its implications as it essentially means men and women not learning about each others bodies and not learning to use ones body to enhance the relationship, but instead turning to man made objects to get the job done. I see a growing trend of pleasure parties or sex toy parties propogating within the church and I think many members are getting confused that this may be acceptable especially with a popular LDS author therapist making statements and suggestions on her website that these toys are good for "fun and variety". I think she has taken some influential liberties that step outside the boundaries of what Church Leadership has been willing to provide.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7139169.post-52892846906728255372009-04-27T18:02:00.000-05:002009-04-27T18:02:00.000-05:00Darion, WOW is right! It is amazing to see the amo...Darion, WOW is right! It is amazing to see the amount of response this post has generated.Tiannahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15265853642971171298noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7139169.post-23994210228352088262009-04-08T13:28:00.000-05:002009-04-08T13:28:00.000-05:00Wow!!! All I can say is Wow!! This debate has be...Wow!!! All I can say is Wow!! This debate has been going on since 2004!! Who would've thought that your post would generate that much interest and debate for over 5 years! Good post Jeff!Rob Higginbothamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14002908733806585017noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7139169.post-34254313520381487022009-03-06T01:16:00.000-06:002009-03-06T01:16:00.000-06:00[And "I, like anyone, would dabble in porn." News ...[And "I, like anyone, would dabble in porn." News flash: not everyone does. Many good people have the sense to abhor it and flee. Don't dismiss your responsibility for your choices by an appeal to the poor behavior of many others - but not all others.] <BR/><BR/>lol, didn't think you'd take it literally. okay I buy that, you can have that one. not everyone has looked at porn. the fact that others look at it has nothing to do with me anyway.<BR/><BR/>The story of Korihor reflects an expectation that Joseph Smith would encounter opposition to his authoritarian setup, especially since democratic zeal was prevalent. Those early Americans were leery about a top-down bureacracy that Europe's religions had integrated. In order for Brother Joseph's church to succeed he would need to address the need for democratic involvement of his laymen. One answer was endowing them with priesthood callings and titles, and another was to deflect perceptions that the church leaders were exploiting the laymen by portraying the same objection made by an anti-christ character in the book of mormon. Anytime anyone said the church leaders were keeping the people captive for their own gain, they could just cite precedent and name drop "korihor." It's one of many thought-stopping techniques employed by church culture. <BR/><BR/>But anyway whatever the current church leaders motives are is another issue. If porn can divide a marriage then it can dissolve a person's faith in the church. The church is authoritarian and depends on the family unit to survive. Other churches don't complain as much about porn not because they don't care any less, but because they aren't as vulnerable to losing membership if porn divides their patrons' marriages.<BR/><BR/>I don't think porn is liberating inherently. If a person leaves the lds church through porn and becomes a sex addict, that's not liberating it's just trading one dependency for another. Porn can be liberating if in the process of using it you realize that the guilt you're supposed to feel is artificial and maybe realize that there's a lot more to life and morality than what the Brethren outline. <BR/><BR/>You're a good sport Brother Jeff thanks for letting us debate.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7139169.post-81773913420695113032009-03-05T23:52:00.000-06:002009-03-05T23:52:00.000-06:00This is the wife of "anonymous" who mentioned earl...This is the wife of "anonymous" who mentioned earlier that I don't mind him viewing porn. I can honestly say that I have never minded his viewing porn. He does not assume that I am willing to do the things the girls in porn do. He has always treated me with respect. He has always honored the committment we made to eachother on our wedding day. He is a good man, a good husband, and a good father. That is more than I can say about men who believe the priesthood is the "end all, be all" solution to controling their wives.<BR/><BR/>I can understand you calling that into question as it is a typical response for women to be hurt over that behavior in their husband. However, I do not feel that viewing porn is bad for the soul if done in moderation. Obviously if you watch porn to the extent that you think every girl is going to behave like that, you might have an addiction. The occasional viewing of porn does not damage your soul or marriage if the woman is secure enough in her own person to not question her husbands affection just because he likes watch porn.<BR/><BR/>The real problem here is not the porn, the actors, the men who watch, or the internet that makes it widely available. The real real issue is the priesthood. In the mormon church, men are given all of the power and it is called "stewardship." Women are tought almost every Sunday in Young Women's and Relief Society that they need to respect their husband's authority as the priesthood holder, leaving the women with no control over anything in the marriage except sex. Women mind their husband masturbating and watching porn, because when that behavior is present that they no longer hold ANY power in the marriage. They become like the English monarchy, a powerless figurehead. I am not trying to say that people in the church only get married to have sex. I am merely trying to say that the foundation of this hatred of porn is the underlying power struggles within the marriage.<BR/><BR/>As for the notion that porn degrades women, it is utter nonsense. The female actors in porn are paid VERY well for their talents, especially in relation to their male counterparts. Movies allows people to explore their fantasies and feelings through a creative outlet. If a person wants to stimulate happy emotions, they watch a feel good movie. If they want to cry, they watch a drama. Porn is no different in that it is a creavie outlet intended to stimulate an emotion. Porn has only been demonized because the emotion it is intended to stimulate has been demonized by religion. In reality, sex is a natural part of being human evolution. I firmly believe that Comso and Vogue magazines do more damage to women than porn does. At least porn doesn't look for ways to exploit women's insecurities for commercial gain. Porn is very clear in its objective...<BR/><BR/>My husband and I watch porn together sometimes to help encourage the mood and to learn new tricks. I have never felt like less of a woman or that the integrity of my marriage has been compromised by the introduction of sex into our home.Jacquiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01912143048844466656noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7139169.post-45126204298414702202009-02-19T08:58:00.000-06:002009-02-19T08:58:00.000-06:00Hmmm, I think that last comment from Anonymous may...Hmmm, I think that last comment from Anonymous may be a good example of self-deception at work. It doesn't affect the way he views other women?? Come on. He's not looking at their souls. Not thinking about their souls. They are a chunk of flesh in the emotionally-charged porn environment - and that doesn't carry over, even a little, elsewhere? The callousness porn creates in men's attitudes has been documented in several studies - but the user's never think it changes their attitudes. <BR/><BR/>And "I, like anyone, would dabble in porn." News flash: not everyone does. Many good people have the sense to abhor it and flee. Don't dismiss your responsibility for your choices by an appeal to the poor behavior of many others - but not all others. <BR/><BR/>Equating the moral position of the Church on this issue with a power struggle of insecure people threatened by the "liberating" influence of porn is just too much out of Korihor's playbook. Alma 30 - great stuff. But that tired position leaves one with no ground to stand on. <BR/><BR/>Sure your wife doesn't mind? Really?<BR/><BR/>Step back and rethink your stance here. Porn makes people less. It hurts their relationships, and makes them less able to see things as they are - especially one's self.Jeff Lindsayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08776493593387402607noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7139169.post-62888584158692370732009-02-04T18:15:00.000-06:002009-02-04T18:15:00.000-06:00What about the early LDS and plural wives? Was eac...What about the early LDS and plural wives? Was each wife objectified simply because the husband was with another of his wives? well, probably. <BR/><BR/>But anyway to summarily assert that a wife is considered a sexual object based on the husband viewing porn, is also to say that the wife doesn't have much to offer the husband except sexual release. I can see how a woman would be offended by a man viewing porn if she feels she doesn't have much else besides sex to offer, or if she normally uses sex as leverage in the marriage to retain some control. <BR/><BR/>I don't blame the women for this; it's a natural result of misogynistic mormon doctrine. The men have so much control otherwise that the sexual realm is the one last place she can influence. Couple that encroaching of turf with the marital deception required for the porn and of course the woman feels marginalized, but it's not the inherent nature of the material it's the unnatural context of the mormon system. <BR/><BR/>Of course the mormon church makes a big deal out of porn, it messes with the power structure of the organization. Other churches aren't as vocal because they aren't as theocratic/authoritarian and porn doesn't have a wedge effect on their social systems. They don't have the same rigid ego games as the LDS. I doubt whether the LDS GA's realize that the more energy you put into something, the more validity you give that thing. Pound the pulpit about porn and you only fuel the drive to view it (not to mention perpetuating artificial guilt from ppl giving in to human desires, but then again guilt is the lifeblood of the church). <BR/><BR/>When I was active in the church I, like anyone, dabbled in porn. I would feel guilt and repent and do it again and feel guilt and repent. It got so repetitive that I was sure that I had exhausted God's forgiveness, and when I did it again the guilt came but it left just as quickly without me trying. My emotional mechanism was trained to feel the guilt and then to feel forgiven. I formed it myself through habit like Pavlov's dog. the ease with which I felt forgiven was not consistent with the grave decrees about porn from the GA's. I concluded that I had manufactured the guilt all along and had forgiven the guilt myself. Once I knew that, I never felt guilt again after looking at porn, notwithstanding belief in the church. <BR/><BR/>Your mileage may vary, but looking at as much porn as I've wanted has not increased my appetite for it, nor has it broadened my sexual fetishes. If it makes me see women differently it's only that I can more easily see the nonsexual elements of their soul. My wife doesn't mind me looking at porn because she knows I didn't marry her just to get laid and she has much more to offer, and I do it infrequently enough that it doesn't diminish our sex life. <BR/><BR/>Sexually repressed people make a big fuss over porn, sexually content people tend not to. For the most part, mormon culture is very sexually repressed. You get taught your whole young life to suppress and deny sexuality, then you're expected to switch it all off on wedding night. It is not psychologically practical to de-condition oneself like that. Childhood conditioning is too enduring to be considered that malleable, and many LDS are programmed for life to dislike their own bodies. If an institution can have say over the most intimate, private areas of a person's mind and body, that person is theirs and everything else falls into place. <BR/><BR/>There's much that I still cherish about mormon culture; I can no more cut off my mormon history than I can cut off a hand. It's a beautiful philosophy, but you people, the members, are what give it its beauty and life, not the doctrine itself. Many members say that the church is perfect and the people are not. But I'd reverse it and say the people are perfect the way they are and the church is vastly imperfect and is where the corruption lies. I think you active LDS are much better than the church. <BR/><BR/>I didn't understand what people meant with the word "cult" when I was active. It took a while to see; it's not the beliefs, it's not the way the members act. What makes the church a cult in every sense of the word is how the church is held together, viz. through guilt and threatening that one's loved ones will be lost in the next life. These are tricks Joseph Smith used to add wives to his harem, let us please not use them today. The family is here and now and that's what should be focused on. <BR/><BR/>the church can be almost the same as it is now and not be seen as a cult if retention methods weren't actually cult tactics. <BR/><BR/>I don't mean to offend or to post in bad taste. I think this is a great site that allows for thoughtful reflection on LDSism without always appealing to the typical black-and-white orthodoxy. Sites where active members can discuss anything they need to is exactly what the church needs.<BR/><BR/>I dont have an axe to grind, i'm not angry at anyone in the church. Most of my extended family are active LDS and I only want them to be happy and I think they will be more so if they start taking the words of the prophets with a grain of salt. They aren't any closer to God than you are and you're better off trusting your head, heart, and gut. God Bless and Namaste!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7139169.post-32577384522644432312009-02-02T19:57:00.000-06:002009-02-02T19:57:00.000-06:00As to terming this form of adultery an "addiction"...As to terming this form of adultery an "addiction" putting the onus of the sin on women:<BR/><BR/>I have met - in real life and in the internet "world" (if you will) an inordinate number of women whose husbands commit this sin. And, it is so very common for these women to actually blame other women for their spouse's adultery! It is easier for a wife to blame another person entirely - a stranger - for 'luring' her spouse into a life of sin - than it is for her to admit that her spouse is entirely to blame. And, it allows the sinning man an "out": He can blame his sin on outside sources (such as the women he is viewing or any attractive woman he might meet in public - regardless of dress).<BR/><BR/>I am seeing, increasingly, that this habit of calling a form of adultery an "addiction" is destroying LDS women as they rip each other - and other women - apart for "leading their husbands away". This is a serious problem.<BR/><BR/>Using the misnomer of "addiction" on this sin of adultery is very much pinning the "blame" on sources other than the sinner. It does so for both the husband AND his primary victim - his wife. It also directs a woman's understandable anger away from the correct source - her spouse - and towards any woman she might perceive as a threat. <BR/><BR/>Overall, this is creating a very bad psychological environment for women in the church as they begin to see any attractive woman as intentionally attempting to lead their husband astray. I have seen this thought process verbalized and laid out in written form over and over again and it is alarming.<BR/><BR/>No, this is not properly termed an addiction. It IS a sin. In particular, it is a sin of adultery (as defined by Christ). To call it anything else is to deny the sinner an adequate chance at repentence and his victims an accurate source of their pain.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7139169.post-85883335492122076612009-01-21T00:52:00.000-06:002009-01-21T00:52:00.000-06:00Anon, you say "the term 'addiction' puts the onus ...Anon, you say "the term 'addiction' puts the onus of responsibility seemingly on women"? Until I read that line I could at least understand your argument rather than shake my head in utter dis-belief! <BR/><BR/>Until that line I could see that you actually made some really good points although I believe the same could be true of all sins called addictions and perhaps of all segments of society - most segments of society even more so than of mormons (about an addiction being an "excuse").<BR/><BR/>But your point about putting the onus on women is brings to mind the very opposite of your suggestion. If it's not addictive, that would invite excuse makers to "put the onus of responsibility seemingly on women" because after all, if a man isn't addicted and still constantly chooses porn over his wife, that is when we wonder what it is about the relationship that is so uninviting and could part of the reponsibility belong to the wife. <BR/><BR/>The addiction model clears the wife entirely - but does not clear the one addicted. <BR/><BR/>How true that addiction is not an excuse for the one who gives in. How false that it is!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7139169.post-20008533644448957522009-01-17T11:35:00.000-06:002009-01-17T11:35:00.000-06:00Dopamine is released when we have normal sexual re...Dopamine is released when we have normal sexual relations as well. Are we "addicted" to righteous intimacy?<BR/><BR/>Powerful hormones are released when a mother nurses her baby - is it correct to call that an "addiction", too?<BR/><BR/>The overuse of the word "addiction" is a serious problem in the church right now. And, it is nothing more than a way for those mired in sin to assuage their guilt as well as a way for the victims (ie the wives of such adulterers) to try to come to terms with their anger and pain - but without facing the true reality.<BR/><BR/>Additionally, the use of the term "addiction" puts the onus of responsibility seemingly on women. Evil women "drive" men to look at them! It ignores the reality of abuse and coercion that is the reality of many women in the porn industry. <BR/><BR/>There are two victims of an adulterous man who chooses to view pornography: His wife AND the women he lusts after. Many times these women are literally slaves - bought and paid for with the threat of death hanging over their heads. Many times these women are deliberately given true addictions (chemical dependency) in an effort to keep them subdued and enslaved. Many of these women have been repeatedly raped from their childhoods and are degraded to a point where they see their lives as worthless.<BR/><BR/>Those are the true victims of this type of adultery.<BR/><BR/>Slapping the word "addiction" on a man who chooses to make these women his victims is ignoring reality and, in fact, removes the adulterer from the TRUE costs of his actions.<BR/><BR/>Perhaps all men who choose to view pornography should be shown documentaries of what the women in the sex industry really face. Perhaps if they saw the abuse, the rape, the drug use (a true addiction), etc. they would realize just how reprehensible their SIN truly is.<BR/><BR/>I do not believe that the General Authorities deliberately mean to give justification to men who commit this form of adultery. However, it is clear that this is becoming commonplace among the MEMBERSHIP of the church. I would be interested in learning what the "success" rate is for men who attend "Addiction Recovery" seminars. My guess is that they mostly "relapse" because they are taught that they cannot control their own behavior.<BR/><BR/>And, in the end, that is the danger of terming this form of adultery an "addiction": It gives the false idea that a man cannot control his actions. And, that is a slippery slope, indeed.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7139169.post-90818236050893769962009-01-02T19:56:00.000-06:002009-01-02T19:56:00.000-06:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7139169.post-16884765539834604642009-01-01T23:31:00.000-06:002009-01-01T23:31:00.000-06:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7139169.post-12920627833738556632008-12-31T17:08:00.000-06:002008-12-31T17:08:00.000-06:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7139169.post-41392189145624301562008-12-27T11:02:00.000-06:002008-12-27T11:02:00.000-06:00I have to disagree with Anon's post at 8:13pm on 1...I have to disagree with Anon's post at 8:13pm on 12/22/08. She seems to think that by calling something an "addiction" we are somehow excusing the action. I disagree with that assumption heavily.<BR/><BR/>It is true that pretty much everyone that views pornography CHOOSES to do it in the first place (just like smokers and drinkers). But the reason they go back for more is because they are addicted. Can they break the cycle of addiction? Of course. Does the fact that they're addicted make their behavior any more acceptable? Of course not, but it does allow us to have compassion on those that have the problem and therefore help them overcome it.<BR/><BR/>Also Anon - you seem to think that there is no chemical dependence in pornography addiction. There is. The body releases a chemical called "dopamine" when pornography is viewed, and the body longs to feel the sensation that this chemical provides. Even one of the Apostles has reiterated that overcoming a porn addiction can be more difficult than overcoming cocaine.<BR/><BR/>And you seem to think that the Church is accepting of pornography? Have you heard one of Pres. Hinckley's talks from the Preisthood session, describing how it's poison, filth, etc? The Church is actually one of the few (VERY few, actually) to be so open about condemning the evil of pornography.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7139169.post-89551347141008739882008-12-27T03:40:00.000-06:002008-12-27T03:40:00.000-06:00Im LDS and way out here in PNG...But want to say t...Im LDS and way out here in PNG...But want to say thanks for the posts...I agree with ananymnous saying that "it isn't an addiction, it is plain adultery..." Keep away from it...I love the Gospel, and it has blessed my life with my family...Regardless of what people may say, I know it is true in every way...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7139169.post-8560396967425329612008-12-22T22:13:00.000-06:002008-12-22T22:13:00.000-06:00I'm LDS, a woman, and in my 30's. I'm also happil...I'm LDS, a woman, and in my 30's. I'm also happily married with children, love intimacy with my husband, and feel very confident in myself (both body and spirit).<BR/><BR/>Now, after that briefing:<BR/><BR/>I'm intrigued that the word "addiction" is used so much when referencing pornography. Christ clearly states in the New Testament that looking up on a woman to lust after her (ie pornography) is a form of adultery. Soooo... If a man is visiting prostitutes is that an addiction? If a man or woman has physical intimate relations with another person (ie an "affair") is that considered an addiction?<BR/><BR/>The problem is that we as LDS pawn off the very serious adulterous nature of pornography by calling it an "addiction" - as if a man has no control over his actions. THAT is the reason why pornography is out of control among men in our church in particular - we pat them on the back and say, "Poor you! Ensnared by that evil addiction!" This immediately relieves the purpetrator of this type of adultery of any sort of personal ownership of his sin.<BR/><BR/>The fact is that every single man or woman who views pornography CHOOSES to do so - every single time they do so. This is not something out of their control. This is a weakness, most definitely, but it is a weakness that is ENTIRELY within the power of the individual to STOP. This is not appropriately called an addiction as much as it is a weakness of character - a lack of integrity. And, to call it an addiction is to belittle the people who REALLY have addictions - as in their body chemistry is literally changed as they go through a highly specific and well-documented PHYSICAL cycle in response to their chemical dependancy.<BR/><BR/>Perhaps repeated viewing of pornography will be further removed from the reality that it is a choice in the future by well-meaning members who decide it is just a mental illness. "Oh! Pornography viewing is just like OCD! You can't control it!" I can see it degrading to that point as church members try to take away the choice aspect of pornographic adultery viewing.<BR/><BR/>The bottom line is that a person who views pornography is making poor choices. And, that person has the power to stop making those choices at any time he wants. And, a man who deliberately decides NOT to stop viewing pornography is not worthy of having the priesthood. And, a man who repeatedly chooses to commit this form of adultery needs to have his actions labeled as such: Adultery.<BR/><BR/>The church as a whole is buying into this namby-pamby ACCEPTANCE of pornography by mislabeling this form of adultery as an "addiction".<BR/><BR/>It is not an addiction. It is a form of adultery plain and simple. And, any woman who stays with a man who repeatedly cheats on her has good reason to doubt him and his attraction to her. A man who is lusting after other women does not find his own wife attractive nor does he see her as an equal partner in any way. She is just another object to him - a lesser object to him, even, than the women he truly desires and finds in his pornographic adulterous sessions.<BR/><BR/>I'm amazed at the way so many members are falling into this trap!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7139169.post-17187251188519772222008-10-17T00:01:00.000-05:002008-10-17T00:01:00.000-05:00Jeff,I appreciate the sentiment, but I really thin...Jeff,<BR/><BR/>I appreciate the sentiment, but I really think you're out of line targeting Planned Parenthood. Most people forget that PP provides thousands of medical services to women, only one of which is abortion, which, by the way, can still be performed by a gynecologist outside of PP. If you disagree with abortion (and even the LDS church allows it in cases of incest or rape) then go after the laws, not PP. There are a lot of women out there receiving free birth control, UTI and STD treatment who would suffer from the closing of PP.Spencer Ellsworthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15448079825934621147noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7139169.post-73487454994105898042008-10-03T10:00:00.000-05:002008-10-03T10:00:00.000-05:00My husband has been "sober" since February of 2008...My husband has been "sober" since February of 2008! This has been a struggle for both of us but because I finally clued in to his addiction (8 years into the marriage), we were able to begin working on this together. I highly recommend SA or the LDS SA meetings. There are now some meetings specifically for couples. This is for those who WANT to leave the addiction and recover completely and it's not for the faint-hearted. I believe, if your wife or husband is truly Christ-like and loving, that they will stand up with you to combat this addiction. Please tell them! Humility is the greatest way you will overcome this. You will have to eventually humbly ask God to take away your shortcomings. Counseling is also a good idea so that you have an outlet for your feelings. <BR/><BR/>Being LDS, my interpretation of this experience is that if you rely on God to give you help, understanding and direction, he will be there for you. I relied on him many times to give me strength, compassion, self-esteem and love for myself and my husband. "Lust" is not "Love"!!! <BR/><BR/>Playing with pornography of any form is like playing with fire. You can always tell yourself that it's just one smoke, one drink, one peek... but addictions, no matter what they are, lead you down the path of no longer having a "choice" to turn away from them. You no longer have agency in that particular situation. <BR/><BR/>Knowing how easy it is to slip back into addiction, my loving husband is avoiding situations, etc. that could induce a relapse. He has been honest and open about his experiences day to day and we have grown closer and closer as time continues. He is now telling me that he is seeing the "otherside" of the addiction. He sees how it turns women into objects. He sees how it had degraded his sensitivity to our relationship together. He sees that our sexual relations now are much more intense and pleasurable that ever before and that the pleasure from porn was counterfeit to the marriage communion. <BR/><BR/>There is hope! God can help you if you recognize that you are no longer strong enough to do it on your own. In fact, I recommend that you surrender no matter how far you are in any habit or addiction you may have. God can help remove our character weaknesses. That is the wonderful blessing of the atonement of Jesus Christ! God be praised!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com